Metaphors are not just literary devices you learn about at school. They are intricately woven into our everyday language and thought patterns. And using metaphors can have a powerful influence on how we perceive and respond to the world around us. So it’s a good idea to make sure we’re using useful, empowering metaphors about ourselves and our situations.
Simply put, a metaphor is a comparison between two things, without using “like” or “as”. But metaphors have a much deeper effect on our perception and behaviour than just enlivening our storybooks. First, it’s interesting to note just how all-pervasive metaphors are in our speech patterns and our language. Psychologist David Grove observes that metaphors pepper our speech every few minutes, without us even realising we’re using them (note how “pepper” itself is a metaphor…). Once you start thinking about it, you notice metaphors in so many common phrases:
“She has a heart of gold”
“You’ve hit the nail on the head”
“That’s the icing on the cake”.
There’s no actual gold, nails or icing in any of these scenarios but we all know exactly what’s meant, and using metaphors such as these makes the meaning more colourful and clear.
Longer, more elaborate metaphors in the form of storytelling have a powerful place in hypnotherapy, and in advice-giving more generally. A metaphor is a story that you tell someone using symbolism in order to convey a message, with a view to creating positive change in that person’s attitudes, beliefs and actions. When you tell a story, it activates the brain’s ability to match patterns and the person listening tends to automatically connect it to what’s going on in the context of their own life. It’s a particularly effective way to help someone achieve the outcome they want because this pattern-matching works at the subconscious level. And when listening to a story, you’re much less likely to have any resistance, as you might do to direct advice – because after all it’s just a story about something else.
As well as using metaphors to help others come to an empowering realisation, metaphors also have a profound impact in how we use them for ourselves. Take for instance our relationship with work. If you view yourself as Sisyphus, rolling a rock up a hill, this suggests your work is an endless repetition, with no point and no end in sight. This metaphor is hardly going to inspire you to spring out of bed in the mornings to get to work. Try changing your metaphor to a more empowering one, and it could open up your mind to the possibility of finding new interests and things to enjoy about the job. If you start describing yourself as a “way-finder” you might feel more empowered to navigate new waters, find new solutions or even find a new role altogether.
When I took up yoga after a long break, I didn’t tell myself “I want to be able to touch my toes”, I told myself I want to be strong, supple and serene like Sadie (my cat). If Sadie saw me in my half-pigeon pose she probably wouldn’t be terribly impressed, but it’s an incredibly motivating metaphor for me and it gets me on my yoga mat every other day.
So what about the metaphors that guide your own life? Are they empowering or limiting? If you’re seeking to lose weight or start exercising and you’re defining yourself as a “blob”, this might be part of what’s keeping you stuck. Take a moment to scan your language for the (conscious or hidden) metaphors you’re using about yourself or your situation and make sure they are serving you well. Because our metaphors determine our focus and trajectory. If you find you’re using metaphors that are holding you back, choose powerful new ones that fit better with your goals and aspirations and that will challenge and inspire you. And then notice what happens.