The fear of public speaking is up there amongst the fear of heights and going to the dentist as one of the things people are most afraid of.  The fear of public speaking is often really the fear of rejection and/or the fear of being judged.  And when it is a serious fear, rather than just normal nerves before a speaking event, it is often rooted in childhood events that have helped form unhelpful subconscious beliefs that continue to pop up and hold you back.

Jeff (not his real name) works in a job where he regularly has to give formal presentations and speak up at team and client meetings.  He had never felt comfortable speaking in front of groups and having a wavering voice, racing heart and feeling hot and jittery during presentations was draining and spoiling his enjoyment of his job.  

When I work with clients on the fear of public speaking, my aim is to help them uncover the root cause of that fear.  Because while there are techniques that can help us all overcome the usual nerves associated with public speaking (deep breathing, focusing on one person in turn in the audience, preparing really well etc), these action-level techniques won’t help much if the fear is lodged at a deeper, subconscious level.

So with Jeff, we quickly uncovered the underlying cause of his fears.  When he was at primary school, he had created an art project which he was proud of.  However when his teacher saw it, she stood over his desk, ripped it up and threw it in the bin.  She told him it wasn’t good enough and it was all wrong.  All Jeff’s class mates were looking at him and laughing and he felt humiliated, ashamed and like he wanted to disappear.  And at that moment, at that impressionable age, Jeff’s subconscious mind formed a belief:  when all eyes are on me, it is painful, humiliating, shaming.  And what I have to show for myself is not good enough.  

Our subconscious mind is always trying to protect us.  So as well as forming that belief, Jeff’s subconscious decided – I’m not going to allow that experience to happen again.  Anxiety is nature’s warning mechanism and the anxiety response comes up to alert us to perceived emotional threats as well as physical danger.  So Jeff’s subconscious mind, right into adulthood, was producing anxiety in response to public speaking events: events where all eyes were going to be on him and his work, warning him against the prospect of humiliation and rejection that he’d associated at a deep level with being the centre of attention.  

Once we uncover what’s going on at the subconscious level, I use various techniques to clear away that block and install more resourceful states and responses.  And in Jeff’s case, straight after the session he looked like a new man.  He was smiling broadly, breathing more expansively and reported feeling on top of the world, having got rid of a real weight that had been holding him back for years.  

Jeff has a public speaking event in a couple of weeks’ time.  He’s told me he’s really looking forward to it for the first time ever and he’s feeling much more comfortable and at ease in all his conversations, including socially and he’s generally feeling more carefree and confident.  Once you make the right shift at the subconscious level, and upgrade your sense of identity, everything else falls into place.