When Alice (not her real name) came to see me, she described feeling constantly overwhelmed. There was this constant background feeling in her body and mind that she always had to manage, get through things on her own, and stay “strong” for others.
She said although she had a good job and a lovely family, she often felt she wasn’t coping, let alone enjoying it all. She was thoughtful, capable and kind, but she always carried a sense of responsibility. A belief that if something went wrong, she should have managed it better, that she was never quite doing enough and was letting people down.
Regression: Where it all began
During hypnosis, we used regression – a gentle process that allows the mind to revisit moments that first set the anxiety in motion. It’s often our beliefs that drive anxiety – what we’re telling ourselves at the subconscious level. And we can use regression to uncover what those anxiety-driving beliefs are.
Two scenes emerged that gave us the answers.
Scene One: “I need to hold it together”
Alice was six. Her mother was juggling the baby, while trying to get everyone ready for school. In the rush, Alice dropped her cereal and at the same time her baby sister burst into tears. Her mother went straight to comfort the baby, leaving Alice to mop up the mess, get herself ready, and quietly manage her own morning – while she was also feeling upset.
In that moment, her mind started forming the beliefs:
“I shouldn’t make a fuss.”
“I’ve got to hold things together, even when I need help too.”
Nobody meant for her to feel that way. But her mind quietly learned it.
Scene Two: “I tried my best, and it still wasn’t enough.”
Another memory surfaced. Alice was ten, trying out for a school talent show. She had worked so hard, rehearsed every day, and genuinely thought she might be picked for the final group.
She wasn’t. She wasn’t even close. She remembered hearing a teacher say, “She tries hard, but…” – and the rest didn’t matter. That was all her brain needed to hear to absorb the message:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I have to work harder, do better, be more.”
Emotional moments like this in childhood – and the meaning we attach to them – seep in at a deep level. And these subconscious beliefs can then run our emotions and actions right into adulthood.
What changed
In hypnosis, we don’t erase memories – we update the unhelpful (and untrue) beliefs the mind formed at the time and that have been driving the anxiety.
In these sessions, I help the client release the underlying thoughts, reframe the past, and adopt more helpful, empowering beliefs. I then reinforce those new beliefs, which drive a calmer, more confident mindset, in a personalised audio recording I make for each client to listen to repeatedly so that those new messages take hold. And the new subconscious self-talk becomes:
“I am capable, I am strong and I can ask for help.”
“I don’t have to carry everything to be valued.”
“I am good enough.”
Alice reported a week later:
“I feel so much calmer and more at ease. I’m starting to be more present and enjoy things and appreciate everything that I’ve got. It feels like a sea change. I wish I’d found you years ago!”
Hypnotherapy doesn’t change who you are. It lets you become more yourself – and helps you let go of anxiety. If you’d like to explore whether hypnotherapy for anxiety might help you, feel free to message me.