Good listening skills are essential in both your personal and professional life and can help you develop and deepen important relationships. Being the funniest or loudest person in the room may work on some occasions but the ability to really listen and engage in a conversation is a far more useful skill. Feeling heard is key when forming bonds, as it shows the other person that you are invested in what they have to say.

Here are some tips on how to develop your listening skills and form meaningful relationships at work and in your personal life.

1. A key tip is to stop thinking about your own responses in advance and really engage with what you’re being told. This allows you to listen to understand.  And then you can make the most considered response – which doesn’t always have to be on the spot.  You can tell the person you’re going to think about their needs and come back to them. 
2. Let the person know that you are deeply engaged by consciously turning your phone upside down on the table or moving your body so that you’re fully facing the person.  These gestures highlight that you are willing to stop what you are doing to make room for them and what they have to say.   
3. Facial expressions and head movements are important when listening. Showing frustration if someone’s telling you about their frustration, or getting excited for someone shows you have empathy and are really listening to their emotions. A simple frown or quick “wow” helps show you care. A nod of the head to signal agreement can also build great rapport, because we like people who are like-minded and validate our experiences. 
4. Ask questions to elicit more information and show your interest.  Do not, whatever you do, go for unintended one-upmanship. If someone’s telling you they’ve just booked a holiday to Bognor, engage in that conversation rather than telling them about your own upcoming holiday in Bermuda. 
5. Eye contact is perhaps one of the most important aspects of listening skills. Imagine you’re telling someone some important news and they keep peering around to see who else is there or looking at their fingernails.  Not cool.  Ensure when someone is talking to you that you look into their eyes for a few seconds every so often; this really shows that you’re paying attention and want to understand them.

Next time you’re having a conversation with someone, consider these simple tips to help make that other person feel listened to and special.