How to overcome imposter syndrome?
Have you ever looked around a meeting room and thought “I don’t belong here”? You have a feeling that everyone else knows what they’re doing – and are doing it well – and you’re out of your depth and it’s only a matter of time before you’re found out… If that nasty little voice sounds familiar, chances are you may be suffering from imposter syndrome. It’s incredibly common, really debilitating and only people with actual talent and drive seem to suffer from it. This always strikes me as wrong, as there are plenty of people with no real competence, who are nonetheless bursting with the self-belief that people with imposter syndrome should rightly have! The good news is that there is a solution. Whether you use the self-help techniques below or want to use RTT hypnotherapy, you can definitely shake off imposter syndrome, recognise your own value and feel at ease with yourself and your achievements.What is imposter syndrome?
First identified in a 1970s study, imposter syndrome centred around the idea that some high-achieving women had difficulty attributing their success to their own hard work and talent, and were more likely to attribute it to external factors such as luck. Today, imposter syndrome is recognised across the demographics and is rife. Self-confessed “imposters” include the amazingly talented Sereena Williams and Maya Anjelou – you can see how this afflicts people with real talent. Put simply, imposter syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud. You’re likely a hard working, high achiever, but you feel like you don’t deserve your success and that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be. Imposter syndrome can show up in a number of ways:- Self-doubt and fearing you won’t live up to others’ expectations
- Overanalysing and over-preparing: spending hours on a piece of work to make it perfect
- Criticising your own performance to yourself and to others
- Inability to accept praise
- Overachieving
Associated personalities and behaviours
Imposter syndrome can also be reflected in various types of personality and behaviours: The Perfectionist: Never satisfied with their work, the perfectionist will always think they could have done better and will zoom in on any mistakes they made rather than celebrate their successes. The Procrastinator: One way to procrastinate is to keep telling yourself you’re not ready. The procrastinator may be highly skilled already, but keeps wanting to know more, to take more courses, to read more books. Thus they don’t get started and can miss out on opportunities. The Workaholic: The workaholic will make themselves overly busy. They take on extra work, even when already overstretched and will drive themselves into the ground. They may also directly measure their self-worth by their productivity. All of this is really hard work and anxiety-inducing. A typical pattern would be to work long hours, preparing in disproportionate depth for a paper or presentation… and then if it goes really well, the imposter syndrome won’t let you see it: you’ll attribute the success to the fact you over-prepared and still won’t feel good about yourself.
Self help – How to overcome imposter syndrome
There are ways you can help yourself overcome imposter syndrome, by building good habits and constructive ways of thinking.
Here are my top tips:
1. Talk kindly to yourself
The most important words you’ll ever hear are the words you say to yourself. Imposter syndrome is fed by listening to that inner critic which pops up to undermine your confidence just when you need it most. Whenever you hear that critic start to pipe up and say “you’ll never be able to do that”, stop that voice in its tracks, literally by saying “STOP” before the negative thought has had a chance to fully formulate. And then consciously use the voice of an inner coach or cheerleader to dialogue with yourself instead.
Say there’s a project you’d like to volunteer for but your inner critic starts to tell you you’re not up to it – immediately say “STOP”. Shut that voice down. Then go on to coach yourself instead: ask yourself “what do you want right now?” Identify your goal – I want to work on that project. And then go back to the voice of the coach and ask “what do you need to do to achieve that?” In this way, you are switching the inner critic for a coach who’s going to support you, not sabotage you, in achieving what you want. And then always congratulate yourself at the end of this self-coaching conversation.
If you consistently practice shutting down the inner critic and using those two empowering questions (“what do you want?” and “how are you going to achieve that?”), followed by celebrating yourself, you will find your inner voice becomes your own best friend and that this powerfully grows your self-belief. Make kindness to yourself your priority and indeed, your superpower.
2. Talk to others
As well as installing a supportive voice in your own head, it’s great to establish a small group of peers/friends at work, with the idea that you can be cheerleaders for each other. Imposter syndrome is very internal and negative, and reaching out for others’ views can help you get a more realistic take on your performance and be energised by their support.
When I was in my corporate role, I was in a WhatsApp group with 2 other senior executives, where we shared our successes and concerns and always weighed in to give each other a boost, a steer and a laugh. Speaking with your line manager or a mentor is really useful as they can help you evaluate and measure your achievements and career path objectively. But having a small group of supportive peers is invaluable for a more informal and frequent dose of reassurance and smiles.
And there is strength in the mutuality of these peer relationships: you will find your own role in consistently supporting your friends gives your own confidence a lift. It also helps you reinforce your kind, constructive voice that you need to use towards yourself.
3. Make your achievements visible to yourself
I’m sure if you’re reading this you are a high achiever. And you may know that at a rational level. The aim is for it to sink in at a subconscious level so that you feel successful. You can help achieve this by keeping a record – that’s easily visible to you – of your achievements.
If you have certificates or awards, put them up where you can see them often. Print out great feedback you’ve received in emails or reviews and stick these up around your workstation. Keep a stack of post-it notes by your desk and make a note of your daily successes, big or small, again keeping these visible. And then all these reminders of your achievements will seep in at the subconscious level.
You can also keep an “achievements” folder (physical or electronic) that you can scroll through to give yourself a lift whenever you need it. This is a factual, measurable reminder of everything you have achieved through your own hard work and talent.
4. Ditch unhealthy comparisons
As social creatures it’s natural to compare ourselves with others, but imposter syndrome can create unhealthy “comparanoia” and unfavourable comparisons with others, leading to frustration about not being good enough, or jealousy.
Comparisons are ok when you’re looking to buy a new ipad or switch utility supplier, but when it comes to comparing yourself – and who you are – to others, as Shakespeare said, “comparisons are odious”. Remember that we are all on our own unique journey. Often in a work situation, you might be comparing yourself with someone far more experienced, or simply with a different skill set. So be aware of when you’re doing this and refocus your attention on yourself, your own strengths and what you want to achieve.
And in terms of social media, when we see the airbrushed, upbeat highlights of people’s lives it’s easy to assume their whole life is like that. But in reality, most of it isn’t, they have their own struggles, flaws and boredom to contend with. You may want to turn off the notifications on accounts that make you feel bad or limit your use of social media generally.
The only worthy comparator is yourself. Benchmark where you were last month or last year and note the growth and successes you’ve achieved – not necessarily work-related, particularly if you’ve been on a career break, growth in yourself or relationships are equally worth celebrating. It’s important to be your own best cheerleader.
Also, have you noticed how truly confident people are happy to celebrate other people’s successes? Experiment with cheering on the work colleagues you have (until now) been comparing yourself to and congratulate them on their contribution. This not only gives off the impression that you are confident in yourself, but it spreads positivity. After all, these people may have imposter syndrome themselves. And you may well find recognition and support coming back your way from these people you have given a boost to.
5. Say “yes” to new opportunities
When you have imposter syndrome, it’s all too easy to turn down great career opportunities because you feel like you’re not worthy or won’t do a good enough job, when objectively that’s not true. Fair enough to turn something down if you have other priorities, but don’t let an inner imposter turn down a career-enhancing opportunity.
Taking on challenging new work can open many doors in terms of personal growth, networking and career advancement. Take a leaf out of Richard Branson’s book when he says: “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you are not sure you can do it, say yes. Then learn how to do it later.”
Don’t wait until you’re absolutely perfect and overqualified to take on a new role. If others are telling you to go for it and you are excited about the prospect, go for it. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the best way to grow and there’s nothing wrong with learning new skills and asking questions along the way.
6. Get your subconscious mind onboard:
RTT Hypnotherapy for Imposter Syndrome
If imposter syndrome is really impacting your life, Rapid Transformational Therapy is an easily accessible, fast and effective way to rid yourself of it for good and to feel positive about yourself and your achievements.
Because imposter syndrome starts off as a feeling (of inadequacy, of being a fake), to really uproot all of the destructive behaviours and anxiety that flow from that, you need to change that underlying feeling. And the fastest, most effective way to do that is by working with the emotional mind – the subconscious mind.
Read a Case Study on Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Feeling like an imposter for short periods during your life or career is fine – in fact it’s pretty normal and shows healthy signs of humility right after a promotion for example. However, if imposter syndrome is long term or making you unhappy and on edge, it’s a good idea to take action so you can feel more relaxed and comfortable in yourself.
Using your own subconscious mind to support rather than sabotage how you feel about yourself is a rapid, powerful way to shake off imposter syndrome for good.
RTT hypnotherapy will help you uproot the unhelpful emotions driving the negative voice that’s holding you back and will quickly and naturally adjust your thought patterns to support healthy levels of confidence and self-belief.