1. Make it matter
You are more likely to stick to your goals if you invest them with emotional significance. Spend some time digging into the purpose behind your goal. If you decide you’re going to go to a yoga class once a week, think about why you’ve decided that. It might be to become more flexible, more mindful or to meet people for example. Once you’re clear on why your goal is important to you, that will fire up your emotional attachment to it, and emotions are powerful motivators. Being excited and delighted (emotions) about being more flexible will help you get to that yoga class even when there are obstacles in your way, such as it being dark or rainy.
Better still, determine what your motivation is first, before setting your goal. If your motivation is to meet new people, maybe a yoga class is a good idea, but maybe a book club might be better, as there’s more social interaction. And maybe you prefer books to yoga! Be clear on your motivation and set a goal that meets that aim and is right for you.
2. Make it positive
Frame the outcomes you want in a positive way. Our minds tend to veer towards whatever we seek to resist. So if you say “I’m going to stop biting my nails”, suddenly your whole nervous system wants to bite your nails because what’s forbidden is very attractive. Further, what you focus on, your mind moves towards – so if I ask someone not to think about a pink giraffe, inevitably they’re going to think about a pink giraffe.
Make this phenomenon work in your favour by moving your focus onto the outcome you want. So, in framing your goal, don’t mention the thing you want to avoid (in this instance “bite”) and instead make your goal a positive one – “I’m going to look after my nails”.
3. Visualise
The road to achieving your goals starts in your head. To accomplish a goal, you need to believe you can accomplish it. In the 1950s Roger Bannister believed he could run a mile in under 4 minutes when the rest of the world believed it couldn’t be done. And what helped him achieve that belief – and breaking the 4 minute mile – was visualisation. He repeatedly and vividly imagined running down that track and bursting through the finish line in 239 seconds before he accomplished that feat in reality.
Visualisation is a powerful tool that anyone can use. You simply imagine the end result you want to achieve as if it is true right now. Daily visualisation of that outcome literally programmes your mind for success. It helps you bridge the gap between how you are now (your current self), and how you want to be (your future self).
Say it’s your goal to lose weight. Close your eyes and engage all of your senses to really feel what it feels like to be your ideal size, with your clothes fitting comfortably, see yourself looking happy and slim, hear the compliments you are getting. Using all of your senses in this way to repeatedly visualise the outcome you want makes you really believe your goal is attainable. Pair this with being emotionally attached to that outcome, and you’ll be committed to taking the actions you need to take to get you there.
4. Build it up
As well as getting in the right mindset for achieving your goals, of course you need to take the right action. You need a plan. “A goal without a plan is just a wish” (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry). I spent years wanting to run the Hastings half marathon but never had a proper strategy for increasing my distance from 5km to 21km. And guess what… I never ran it. Until now, when I’ve finally printed off a training schedule and am choosing to believe I can do it.
To make your plan achievable, it helps to break your actions down into small chunks. Let’s say your goal is to get fitter and at the moment you’re not doing any exercise. Jumping into the gym and deadlifting 60kg probably wouldn’t be a great idea: it’s not realistic and it might cause you to give up. Instead, set yourself a series of micro-goals, each building on the last.
The first micro-goal could be buying a pair of trainers or finding a dance class. Pick something small and simple. And take that first action immediately you’ve formulated your goal. Taking action straight after making a decision helps cement that decision and move you forward. Once you’ve accomplished that first small step, you can start on your next micro-goals, which might be going to that dance class twice a week and walking, not driving, to the shops.
Gradually ramp things up as you get more comfortable. The most powerful and sustainable way to make progress is in increments.
5. Track - and celebrate - your progress
Given that a lot of our big goals involve progress that is slow and gradual, it is sometimes difficult to recognise the change we’re making. So it’s important to keep a record of your progress – using an app or a notebook or however you like to do it. This lets you see in black and white the improvements you’re making over time.
Keeping a log of your achievements means that even if you slip up now and then, you can zoom out and see yourself slowly but surely making progress towards your ultimate goal. And seeing that progress does wonders for your motivation.
As does showering yourself with praise! Praise is a brilliant motivator. Another great thing about breaking down your ultimate goal into micro-goals is that it gives you clear points at which to reward yourself. Celebrating small successes along the way helps to boost your self-belief and makes it easier and more enjoyable to continue on your journey. And that’s the real key here – making the journey enjoyable.
6. The secret ingredient
A really cool way to help you stay focused on your goals and achieve everything you want is to find one word, related to your goals, that encapsulates how you want to be in the year ahead. And then to repeat that word to yourself regularly so that it sinks in and helps your subconscious mind get to work making that word a reality and ensuring you prioritise your goals.
The word could be “healthy”, “focused”, “relaxed”, “bold”, whatever is meaningful to you and encapsulates the outcome you want. This goes back to the idea of being focused on the underlying purpose of your goal. One of my goals is to connect more with friends I’ve inadvertently lost touch with, so my word for 2023 is “social”. This word will prime me to yes to social invitations, to arrange video calls with friends who don’t live nearby and to generally prioritise sociability in my life.
So I invite you to take some time to pick a good word; then write that word on a post-it note and stick it on your mirror or on the fridge, use it within your passwords and write it on top of all of your to-do lists for 2023. That word will then seep into your subconscious and guide you positively towards the outcome you want.
I’d love to hear what goals you are setting this New Year – drop me a line and let me know if I can help.
Happy New Year!
Sarah