We all have memories we’d rather forget – embarrassing situations, arguments, or things we wish we’d done differently. These things tend to replay on a loop inside our heads.  Maybe it’s something you said in a meeting, an argument that spiralled out of control or an awkward encounter.  While you can’t change what happened, you can change how you feel about it.

That’s where a mental tool called dissociation comes in.

Dissociation is a simple technique used in hypnotherapy and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to help you emotionally distance yourself from negative memories. Instead of being caught up in the emotions of the event, dissociation allows you to step outside and view it from a calmer, more neutral perspective.  This shift in perspective reduces the emotional intensity and helps you feel more in control.

How Does It Work?

Think of dissociation like watching a film of your life, but from the seat of an audience member. Here’s a quick exercise to try:

1. Pick a moment you have a negative emotional attachment to – an argument for example, or an embarrassing comment or a regret.
2. In your mind, turn that memory into a picture inside a frame; and if the memory is playing like a film inside your head, turn it into a freeze frame moment.
3. Now, imagine shrinking that picture right the way down to make it the size of a postage stamp.  Turn the image from colour to black and white, and make it blurry and out of focus.  
4. Then visualise pushing that image away from you, further and further so it becomes a tiny spot in the distance. 
5. Check in with yourself: How do you feel about that memory now? You may notice that the further you push it, the less impact it has on you. This works because you’re no longer inside the memory, emotionally attached to it—you’re simply observing it. If the negative emotions are still there, repeat the process, pushing it even further away.

This technique works because your brain processes the memory differently when it’s no longer up-close, 3D and personal.  Shrinking and fading your visual reimagining of that memory can  weaken the emotional grip of even the strongest memories.

Try it the next time you find yourself stuck on something – it’s a quick and effective way to feel lighter and more at ease with the past.If you’re having trouble letting go of issues from the past, do get in touch with me to discuss how hypnotherapy can help.