Have you ever felt like different versions of yourself emerge in different situations? That’s because, in reality, we’re not just one person but a collection of different ‘selves’ known as ‘ego states’ or ‘parts’. We often say things like ‘part of me wants to do X but part of me really doesn’t…’ and this language actually reflects what’s really going on inside us. Understanding and working with these ‘parts’ can radically improve your life.
What are ‘parts’?
Our parts or ego states are like distinct characters within us, each with its own personality, preferences, and roles. Think of them as members of a committee that makes up who you are. Some of these parts might be confident and logical, while others are emotional, shy, or even childlike. These parts aren’t metaphorical constructs but, as psychologist Gordon Emmerson points out, they are burned-in neural pathways: real aspects of your brain’s structure.
At any given moment, one of these ego states is ‘executive’, meaning it’s the one in control and feels like ‘you’. This state dictates how you respond to whatever is happening. For example, when you’re dealing with a difficult work issue, a serious and focused part of you is likely to be in charge, whereas a different part of you might take over when you’re relaxing with friends or cooing over a kitten. Problems can arise when the wrong part takes control, like if a fearful or insecure part of you becomes executive during an important presentation or meeting.
Why This Matters
Our ego states are constantly shifting in and out of control, depending on what’s happening around us. While some might only appear for a few seconds, others can stay in charge for hours, especially if you’re deeply engrossed in an activity. The challenge is ensuring that the right ego state is executive at the right time. For example, a world-class athlete wouldn’t want a timid, emotional state taking control during a competition.
And not all ego states are equally functional. Some may be ‘vaded’ or invaded by negative emotions due to past trauma, while others may be dissonant, meaning they’re unhappy with the role they play in your life. These dissonant states can cause stress or poor performance if they end up in charge at the wrong time. Additionally, some parts may be ‘conflicted’, meaning they clash with other parts, leading to inner turmoil.
This is often what’s happening when a person has a clear goal, for example to give a confident presentation or to lose weight, but then disproportionate nerves or self-sabotaging behaviours show up.
Working with parts
To achieve your goals and lead a balanced, healthy life, it’s essential to ensure that your parts work together harmoniously. This involves healing vaded states, reassigning dissonant states to roles they enjoy, and resolving conflicts between different parts. This is known as ‘parts work’ in hypnotherapy.
Hypnosis can be used to connect with specific ego states, especially those that are troubled or stuck. With guidance from a hypnotherapist, a person can then communicate with the ego state in question, learning its purpose and the reasons behind its behaviour. Because when we self-sabotage or experience unwanted anxiety for example, the part of us that’s leading that behaviour or emotion does so for a reason. By gently dialoguing with and guiding this state, its nature can shift, leading to healing and transformation.
Conclusion
Understanding and working with your ego states might sound unusual, but it’s a powerful tool for personal growth. By healing and harmonising these different parts of you, you can overcome internal struggles that are holding you back and boost your sense of balance, personal effectiveness and fulfilment.
If you feel there’s a ‘part of you’ that’s holding you back, get in touch to discuss how my hypnotherapy programme can help.
Sarah Cookson
Clinical hypnotherapist
Personal development and team building